Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
