I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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