Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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