Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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