Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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