yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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