does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
