weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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