with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
