im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
