Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
