I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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