Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
