i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
