Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
