I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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