why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
