hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
