i think my tv is drunk
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
