Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
