I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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