don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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