That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
