remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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