I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
