So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
