i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The adults are the big ones right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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