I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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