we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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