I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize