some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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