I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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