The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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