I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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