I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
