I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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