I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
