What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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