If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You are a genius and a whore.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
