As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
