Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
