he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Fuck me I smell like cheese
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
