I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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