I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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