Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
