Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
