Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
