My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
