the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize