and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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