I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
