I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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