I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
