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Fuck
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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