Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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