My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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