suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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