i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
